“Why Do I Matter?”
It’s easy to feel that we do not. To feel tiny and insignificant compared to our surroundings, compared to the universe, the planet, or even to our own family.
I matter because I have the power to impact someone in a positive, sustainable way.
We never know when a few kind words have changed someone’s life. Or a bit of practical assistance made something happen for them. Or doing something we took for granted was an inspiration to a bystander. I can think of many moments in my life when someone made
a profound impact on me by doing something I doubt they even remember. If we think we haven’t ever made a difference, then we’re in all likelihood mistaken. But even if we’re right, it would take next to no effort to change all that from today onwards. It’s that simple.
I matter because what I do makes a difference in the world.
Words and actions matter. They make a difference in the environment and have the power to completely affect a person in a number of ways. We are the way we are because of our external surroundings. As humans, we adapt and change according to what’s around us. That could be our friends, our family, our place of learning or work, our social media presence, and the list reaches the floor. Every single thing that makes up our surroundings shape us into who we are today. And by doing so, we put more of ourself into the hands of our friends and family, our colleagues or classmates, and even the hands of strangers we pass on the street. However, we are those friends, family members, workmates, or strangers to every other person on this earth. Just like how our surroundings change us, we are a surrounding to someone else, and we have the power to change their perception of themselves, their philosophy, and even their way of life.
It’s natural to become a creature of habit, to accept things the way they are. It’s difficult to clear all the obstacles between ourselves and a clearer mindset.
I matter because I have the potential and the power to change someone’s life, conceptually, realistically, and philosophically.
I matter because I have infinite potential.
I matter because I can make a difference.
I matter because I’m a living, breathing human being, just like everyone around me.
I matter because I deserve to.
The fact that I matter does not change based on the color of my skin, my sexual orientation, gender, my beliefs, my physical appearance, what I wear, where I live, my financial position, my family, my social status, and so much more.
The plain and simple fact is that I do matter. I always have, because my actions and my behavior have the power to make an everlasting impact on my environment.
People across the world begin to second guess and doubt themselves due to the harmful behavior and actions they recieve. Many experience this type of deleterious treatment from their peers and surroundings, sometimes even their closest friends and family. Many are treated as if they don’t matter at all.
More recently in the media, we have seen increased coverage of injustices happening in this country. These injustices range from the shooting of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Jacob Blake, and too many more, to crimes against Asians for “bringing over the Chinese virus.” They seem to happen all too often, if not every single day. Through these unjust actions and behaviors, people, families, and entire communities have been told that they don’t matter.
Being half Chinese, I sometimes feel out of place, as if I don’t belong and wish that I could simply fit it. When I was in elementary school, my grandmother would prepare me traditional Chinese dishes for my lunch when I go to school. Sitting down on the plastic chairs as I set my polka-dotted lunch box on the table, I’ve been looking forward to this moment all day. As soon as I unscrew the lid of my thermos to reveal my lunch, the kids around me would scrunch up their nose and purse their faces in disgust asking, “Ugh, what’s that smell?” Feeling all eyes shift toward me and my cabbage stir-fry, one girl peers over my shoulder and asks, “Ew, what even is that? It smells gross. And it looks gross too.” The rest of my classmates hold their nose in agreement. Suddenly feeling a pit inside of me as if I’d just swallowed a rock, I gingerly close my thermos until my lunch isn’t a threat to them anymore. My classmates then resume their conversations and go back to eating their peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on white bread. At this moment, I felt something scratching at the back of my throat telling me my culture was an inconvenience to those around me as I felt like I didn’t matter. Feeling my limbs getting heavier and my nose heating up, I wished more than anything to have a PB&J like everyone else: something that didn’t smell different, something that didn’t look different. I wanted to fit in, and just be the same as everyone else, and matter like everyone else. As the lunch bell rings, I continue my school day hungry, as my stomach rumbles through each class and makes a guest appearance in a dead-silent room of a math quiz. All eyes turn toward me as mine turn to the clock. How much longer before I can go home? Finally stepping out of the car and walking into my kitchen to unpack my lunch, my grandmother asks why my thermos is still full. Unable to face her, I shrug and run to my room. The next morning, I tell my grandmother that she doesn’t need to make me lunch as I grab the white, sourdough bread out of the fridge. Realizing we don’t even have peanut butter, I jam a spoonful of grape jelly between two slices of bread. Feeling satisfied, I think about how my lunch is just like everyone else’s and now, I matter just as much.
Over the past year during the Covid-19 pandemic, hate crimes against Asian-Americans have hit an all-time high. Too many times have I heard, “Go back to where you came from!” “They brought over the Chinese virus.” “Ugh, I can’t believe we’re in this pandemic, all because Ling Ling ate a bat.” “No, don’t order Chinese food! You’ll get the virus.”
These racial attacks against an entire group of people have become so normalized that people don’t even bother to say something. These hate crimes have exceeded verbal attacks and have become so radicalized. I worry for my Chinese grandparents to even leave the house and go to the grocery store, fearing that they might fall victim to this blatant, unprecedented racism. This behavior and these actions leave an entire community of Asian Americans threatened and fearful, regardless if you’re even Chinese and regardless of your status. Throughout these past several months, the Asian-American community has been told they’re just an inconvenience to everyone around them. People, families, and entire communities are constantly being held down and told they don’t matter through countless discriminatory behaviors and actions as well as hate crimes.
Even though we’ve learned that we matter regardless of who we are, we as a people need to understand the blatant injustice, intentional or otherwise, occurring every day when people just like you and me are being told they don’t matter.
I matter because I have the potential and the power to
change someone’s life.
I matter because I have infinite potential.
I matter because I can make a difference.
I matter because I’m a living, breathing human being,
just like everyone around me.
I matter because I deserve to.